Isn't it tiring how everyone wants you to think when you're consuming fiction? Don't you just want to sit back and gobble up an endless stream of feel-good cozy wholesome content?

Well good news! There's no need for you to tell right from wrong, pure from degenerate, man from woman, straight from homophile, with...

Wholesome Content

Jar of babyfood labeled 'Ethical. Wholesome Content. Best served spoonfed. 0% ick. 0% nuance. 100% comfort.'

In Wholesome Content, everyone gets along*!

No one is suffering, because suffering is bad, and even thinking about it feels bad.

So never think again, because Wholesome Content is pre-chewed, pre-digested and shat out soft serve just for you, America's sweet little baby!

* In the rare instances that a character should be a big meanie, they will face immediate consequences, because bad guys always face consequences. That's how you know they're bad. Trust us and trust the law, and don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. Here comes the airplane, vrrrmmmmm!

What the good people say about Wholesome Content

"my dad is spending time with me watching wholesome content! thank you wholesome content!" — Miranda from Alabama

"I'm so happy there's finally 100% safe and trustworthy content for my baby Jimmy!! After all, Jimmy is so impressionable and vulnerable to outside influence as all 17 year olds are. I can't bear the thought of Jimmy growing up to be groomed into being a transvestite." — Supermom from California

"when i was a kid i watched pokemon and it seriously messed me up because even after i turned 18 i kept looking at pornography of ash ketchum! luckily i've recovered from my pedophilic attraction to ash ketchum with the help of wholesome content and my 10 year old nephew :)" — anonymous

"I know some misguided souls keep saying that Wholesome Content isn't deep, but I beg to differ. As my wife and I watch Wholesome Content with the neighbor's kids, we go balls deep." — your neighbor next door

Where to buy Wholesome Content

Click here and fill out the purchase form. You need to provide your full name, address, passport, credit card number, criminal record, medical papers, rectum scan and a video recording of you doing the Sieg Heil salute and your entire face must be clearly visible.